The love of my life just surprised me with the best news. We’re going to be a Family!
The experience so far has been positive. We’re both naturally a little nervous but it seems we are both ready for this phase of our lives.
No surprise…it got me thinking…
I began to think about another socially dividing standpoint: Abortion.
Having word that I have a child currently splitting and multiplying molecules in it’s attempt to create a human vessel physically capable of transporting it’s soul around this physical world made me wonder about all the women who stop this process for one reason or another.
It made me think about this important matter altogether; Pro- life or Pro- Choice?
As a man in agreement with the philosophy of first wave feminism (the current wave of feminism is counter productive and fascist in essence) I have always been Pro-Choice, but, does the knowledge of my having a child change my perspective?
Lets look at the facts (how I love saying that)…
Unfortunately I am unable to locate any recent stats so we’ll take a a look at stats from 2013, it really doesn’t make a difference.
The CDC reported 664,435 abortions or 12.5 abortions per 1000 live births. That’s quite a number of abortions. However, in 2015 it was reported that an average of 670,000 children spent time in U.S. foster care.
This means that we have more children visiting foster care than abortions being performed. What does this tell us? I know from personal experience, watching my cousin in and out of foster homes his whole life that children only visit those places when the home has become too dangerous to live in. Either a lack of basic necessities, parents with drug/alcohol dependencies, abusive/ neglectful parents, or an instance where both parents have been thrown in jail, or a single parent admitted into some sort of rehabilitation facility. There are quite a number of missing factors but these seem to be the most prevalent.
The bottom line is, if a child lands in foster care, chances are it was the parents fault (this doesn’t count parents who passed away unexpectedly). We can then safely assume that most of these 670,000 children were living in substandard living conditions, or with abusive, neglectful parents or parents involved in illegal activity and performing those activities in the home around the child, or both, or the parents simply do not generate an income sufficient to feed, clothe and care for the child properly.
The point is the child was being raised in a substandard, potentially dangerous environment prior to being taken into foster care
Watching my cousin go through this and observing how it changed him. How the lack of a family nucleus left him without direction eventually landing him in prison with a felony, I can say that even a single trip to a foster care is an indication that the child is coming from a broken home.
A broken home has a high potential of creating a broken child leading to a broken citizen in society.
Going back to the point of abortion. Lets say these women lived in a country where abortions were illegal and if the woman learns she is pregnant she must have the baby and put it up for adoption should she not want to take care of it. The number of adoptive children is already high. What justification can one make for this policy?
I can understand why those who are against abortion are against it however. Be it religious reasons or personal experience. On one hand, I can see why religious individuals might make a fuss about it, you could say the approach is natural and expected. On the other hand.. well.. thank goodness for separation of church and state. What I have a problem with though are the individuals who are against abortion due to personal experience. The reason for it being that it is simply a lack of empathy.
Allow me to explain.
You have Mrs. Garcia here who lives in a prominent neighborhood, comes from a good family, has a good career and is politically active. She comes to find one morning after taking a few tests that she’s pregnant. She shares the news with her husband, they then share the news with family and friends, everyone gets excited, everyone offers their support, the child comes to the world and becomes a blessing in the Garcia home. When Mrs. Garcia decides the child is old enough to be put into day care, she goes back to work and back to her political activities. Once back, she sees that the topic of discussion is abortion. She’s always been a feminist, but the wonderful experience she’s had with her pregnancy and her child and the joy her child gives her every single day makes her switch her stance from Pro-Choice to Pro-Life. She now believes every woman should experience the pure joy of having a child, and that every child has value the moment it’s development is discovered.
Mrs.Garcia’s new stance is coming from a place of love, with good intentions. She believes that every woman will and should experience the miracle of life and that every child should have a chance in this world, because every child is precious. Can anyone tell me what happened here? anyone? if you read my last post it was one of my favorite lines.
She became emotional.. and emotion skews logic.
I understand exactly where Mrs. Garcia is coming from and what she’s trying to do but it is a selfish switch in belief. Selfish in the sense that she isn’t taking in consideration that her financial, social status as well as her strong family foundation is not a reality for some women (most women?). She is lacking empathy. By voting Pro-life she is taking away an immense power from the hands of women that don’t have the opportunities or foundations Mrs. Garcia had growing up. Not to mention voting so goes against her feminist beliefs.
Voting Pro-Life due to personal experience is a decision that lacks empathy for a large number of women.
I’m always around women. I have a lot of girl friends, I have a sister, a mother, the majority of companies I’ve worked for had a female majority as well as a lot of women in management positions, my current manager is a woman. Despite my exposure to so many different women throughout my life, I can still say I don’t know much about women, but the one thing I do know is that once a woman makes up her mind, she makes up her mind. Once a woman makes up her mind you can be assured she thought of every angle, every consequence, every possible pro, every possible con before making her decision, and her decision is final.
You mean to tell me that a woman, no matter her financial burdens, no matter her lack of a family nucleus, no matter how rough her past, or on the flip side, how prominent her future… you mean to tell me she didn’t think about how a child would affect her life? You mean to tell me, that a woman who decides to abort, decides to do so with less amount of thought than it takes picking out an outfit? or buying shoes? Don’t be ridiculous. As I mentioned above, a woman thinks about everything. if she is sitting in the abortion clinic waiting to make an appointment you can rest assure she thought about keeping it, but the course of her life decided that she either wasn’t ready, her life wasn’t stable enough, or she simply planned to never have children, or at least not at that point in her life. Whatever the reason may be, the woman has decided that she does not want to be a Mother. You can’t force someone to be something they don’t want to be.
Therefore, by voting Pro-life you are not “saving children”, or “saving lives”, you are snatching a woman’s freedom to make her distinction on what does and doesn’t fit the narrative of her life, the course she feels her life should take, not has to take.
Pro-life endangers women. Lets go back to the point of women making up their minds. Once its made up, it’s made up. Should we live in a Pro-Life country women will resort to back alley copper hanger abortions, or many other harmful methods of aborting. The mortality rate from illegal abortions will sky rocket as well as the risk for infections in those that survive. The religious and apathetic will say “that’s what she deserves, its karma, a life for a life”, and to you I’d say, “what the fuck is wrong with you”. Pardon my French. I meant to say “where is your Humanity?” ..
For the religious and apathetic, it is not your right to dictate what is, or “should” be acceptable or unacceptable in the lives of those that don’t concern you.
If a woman decides she does not want to be, or is not ready to be a mother, Pro-Choice gives her a safe outlet in which to relieve herself of what is a great responsibility.
The women who do decide to be mothers should be indifferent whether the law states Pro-Life or Pro-Choice as it doesn’t make a difference in their lives. Pro-Choice doesn’t affect mothers that chose to have their baby, it only affects and hinders and prohibits women who do not want to be mothers, to make a sound choice for their lives. Pro-life will create more single mothers, force the creation of more broken homes, increasing the amount of children in adoption facilities and foster care.
Either way… why would you want someone who doesn’t want to be a mother, to become a mother? Those are the worst kinds of mothers.
Pro-Choice is good for women, good for the economy and good for the aborted child. Better the child’s soul stay in the spiritual body of the universe than to face a harsh reality.
Therefore, in wake of the development and eventual birth of my child, though I may love him or her with all my heart.. .
. . . I will continue to vote Pro-Choice.
Thank you for your time.