How to rid yourself of Depression.
You aren’t going to like what you read at first as it will stir up resentment and force you to evaluate yourself honestly.
Lets start with this:
First and foremost we should consult with a Medical Doctor to be sure that your depression isn’t a symptom of a physical illness. If you are cleared of that and your depression is emotionally driven, induced by a disturbing past or inconvenient present. I hope the below will help.
The best way to combat depression is to deny that it is depression and that it is simply something else (uncomfortable already? Keep reading). This may sound like I am advising on self-deceit or denial but it is important.
We have an emotional attachment to labels and names.
Should your father have been a butcher he’d have told you to not name any of the calf as it would lead to an emotional attachment.
We react in much the same way to labels. Label your inner emptiness ‘depression’ and you will associate your identity to it. Identity is ego and ego is not malleable. You risk trapping yourself in the text book definition of depression. You will read symptoms of depression, act them out and amplify them unconsciously. Being depressed is painful, numbing, but should you label it and attach it to your identity, you will have a dark, deep inner satisfaction with being depressed, simply because it has become “you”… You are simply “being who you are”. Despite that “who you are” is depressed, the consistency of your actions will give you a sense of self, rooted in depression.
You will consume yourself with this label to the point that you will curse those who attempt to bring you out of your depression, or question your depression. You will come to DEFEND that you are depressed. You will make any excuse to justify why you just CAN’T recover from it.
At this point it ceases to be depression and just an identity. A pattern of thinking. Chances are your depression lifted years ago it is only you refusing to let go of IT than IT refusing to let go of you.
The second thing to be weary about is perhaps not identifying with depression but rather becoming addicted to the attention one gets from “being” depressed.
People like to be coddled no matter their age. I thank all that is good everyday for the fact that I was raised with a strong mother. I was never allowed to be a victim. My victimization was never “babied” or pampered. I thought it to be harsh discipline, cruel at times. I thank goodness for it now as an adult. I have character, versatility and a sense of virtue.
Not that I do not periodically succumb to depression myself. I have twice actually, for weeks on end. That is exactly why I am able to write this and know that I am giving you information that will undoubtedly help you remove yourself from that wretched pit.
People that are coddled for their depression are exposed to much the same risk as those that identify with it.
Perhaps you were not given enough attention as a child or at least not the type of attention you wanted (admit it), you fell into a state of depression at some point, as does everyone, came to find that those around you reacted in a manner that appeased you, a manner that catered to your expectations of how you think you should be treated. Self fulfilling your self entitlement.
If your desire is to have the pity of others then you truly have my pity but I feel no sorrow towards you. Pretending to be depressed or refusing to do the emotional work required to remove yourself from that state simply because you like the treatment you receive from those around you is manipulative, a lie. The kindness of others towards you is given in vein.
Better yet, why not be a pillar of light? Remove yourself from your depression or emotional grievances, or at least learn how to manage them, take control of them. This will give you more life satisfaction than what you get from the pity of others.
Trust me, you’d much rather have respect from others than their pity.
Trust me, you’d much rather be the master of your emotions and the master of your own mind than vise versa. As do the physical muscles need work and training so does the Heart and Mind.
Begin your training.
As every physical regiment has its obstacles so too will this journey have it’s own. Don’t give in and keep moving forward. It’ll be painful at first, but eventually the pain will subside and the results will begin to show.
Once they do you won’t want to stop.
On to practice: first things first: Discard depression from your vocabulary. DISCARD IT.
You don’t use that word anymore. Use different words to identify with when you feel your “depression” settling in. Rather than saying you are depressed, say to yourself “Ah, my occasional blues are back”. Are you lying to yourself? Down playing how bad you really feel? Yep, and that’s the point.Literally fake it till you make it. If you could convince yourself that you are depressed, you can convince yourself otherwise (How’s that discomfort coming along?). Simply changing the label of what you are experiencing can change how you experience it. If something in your life didn’t go to your liking try acceptance of the situation. Much of depression is rooted in our stubborn expectations. The opposite of that is to be adaptively accepting of situations, therefore, the opposite effect should be the opposite of depression. Bliss.
Be Stoic in your approach to life. Be aware that bad things can happen and will happen and come to peace with it. We are all rocks on the beach, waves are problems and inconveniences, from time to time a wave will hit us, some wont, some will. Sometimes it will seem like all the waves are hitting you and no one around you is getting hit but that is just the way it is sometimes, because it just is. No rationality behind it, no reason other than you just happened to be the rock in the waves path. In these times find peace knowing it wont be that way forever, winds will change and so will the direction of the waves. Down the line you will see another rock near you getting pounded wave after wave and no wave hitting you. It’s just the name of the game. Only now, you will have the wisdom to tell that friend what I told you here. Don’t dwell on it, once the wave comes, crashes and dissipates the event should be forgotten and one should then move forward. For after the wave come peaceful waters. After the storm comes the Sun.
Be confident my friends.
I believe in you.